WAK Coe: About

‘Wacko’ as he is known to no one because he is entirely anonymous, was born on the planet Upp erWalles about 600 Walles’ years ago. He has lived for most of his, for want of a better word, life in an ancient walled town called – Llan dudNoe. A place occupied by aesthetes who live on leeks and nutty slack or, the very rich, whose more refined diet includes anthracite chippings.

As was customary for male babies of his class and clan at that time, he was deposited on the “proving grounds” of the nearby mountain so that he may demonstrate to the Gods his will to survive; to win.  What was different in his case was that his parents removed the labels, thus making it difficult to identify the child and also left him in a cave, the entrance to which had been carefully bricked up and hidden from view.

Later, with the help of his therapist, he was able to come to terms with this and understand that it was, perhaps, because he could not adjust to the cloven hooves that were his feet. Also, if he was completely honest, his tail and horns may have played some part in what he gradually accepted may have been a degree of estrangement between him and his folks.

Suckled by a Minotaur with the aid of the members of a lesbian rap band and an East London Local Government Social Services veteran – universally known by the sobriquet “lessunswillbelearned”; WAKCO grew up as might any young man, an entirely normal, sado psychotic with delusions of power and the need for absolute authority coupled with a, rather charming, persecution complex.

On assuming absolute power over the planet Upp erWalles some years later, as a result of elections organised by Robert Mugabe and Bill Clinton, both of whom had been cloned and loaned out extensively all over the universe, his first act was one of reconciliation with his parents.  He had the buggers sealed off in the same cave with only Sasha Distilled and Harlotte Synagogue’s records for company and a book by Joanne Cullin’s ‘Now is not the rite time’ (to be used for reading or ablutions)!

Now, much learned, he spends his time under an imported banyan tree fighting with Siddhartha who will insist (i) it is his tree (iii) it does not exist and (iii) he /they are both an illusion.

WAKCoe writes regularly in these columns about politics, economics, social history, the effect of fluff in microwave cooking, fleas, and ice cream’s place in erotic art. He is writing a book about the effects of treacle pudding on the Battle of Kursk! All may be found shortly in WAKCOe, “the Collected Wisdom”.

By way of an introduction he now offers a personal perspective to celebrate his new appointment here at theCafe; “I recognise that I have a somewhat unusual view on life and the universe and that my writing might offend some; for which I am truly sorry (well ….) but, it is written also for fun and you can always press “log out or, put as we might say here, bugger off!”.

Recently, along with a few other oddballs I have been concerned as to the state of the world in which we live. Whilst the topic is a serious one, the concerns are genuine and the consequences could be traumatic beyond belief; still it is worth having a laugh and “telling it how it is”. Well, at least as seen from my perspective; hopefully it serves also the core issue herein; creativity and well-being including mental health (my own and perhaps yours also?).

And so I bid you: “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light””……